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Our friends for over two decades, a person who's faced and conquered many hardships, and I respect her for that. Yet, she's constantly caught off guard by people. Her husband ended their marriage, and it was a huge shock. Many of her social circle disappeared then, because they seemed only interested in the spouse. She was stunned by her. She put in greater energy to be my friend, probably grasped better the essence of true friendship.

A Recurring Theme In Relationships

Throughout this period, quite a few of her friends have drifted apart leaving her certain of the reason. Her last employer became hostile, although she was an excellent employee, she departed without knowing what had changed.

Present Situation

Lately, we have each retired and are seeing time together, yet I realize the part I play in the relationship feels one-sided. I open discussion points only for her to redirect the talk toward her own topics. In terms of politics, she holds strong opinions. My effort is to recommend factchecking or other angles.

She's been arranging a vacation abroad I know well on several occasions and lived in for some time. I attempted to offer advice, yet it was not welcomed. She really solely sought my agreement with her choices. I have returned from 30 days in that country she hopes to catch up, however, I hesitate.

Considering the Choices

I am unwilling to be a friend who cuts and runs without a word, however, I feel she'll truly comprehend the consequences of her actions on how I feel about myself. Right now, I am in distancing myself. What should I do?

Possible Paths

You could cut and run, yet this is seldom a smooth outcome we hope for. However, addressing it aiming for resolution demands strength and willingness on both your parts.

Professional advice indicates applying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Initially is to state the usual pattern in your conversations. Aim for this to be based on facts and basically an unbiased account. The second involves sharing how this makes you feel. This allows for no dispute on this point. Emotions are your feelings, naturally. The third step is to ask how you are both going to change the pattern of your friendship."

Remember she too has her own side, thus requiring you to remain ready to hear that. One effective method involves stating her:

"It's your turn to speak and I promise to listen without interrupting for a set time."

It's wildly impactful in fostering better communication.

Final Thoughts

Your friend may dismiss everything, since certain individuals hold onto a “survival narrative”: they rely on a version of their life they're unable to release since their identity relies on it and it represents they've known. This is difficult when there seems no thoroughfare with these people, mere obstacles. However, she might at first react this way before reflecting your perspective. If you don't achieve a resolution, it will give you closure that you've been truthful.